beautiful poem. tells so much with so little!
just to nitpick i think your linebreak for

"each strand takes
its time, grazing the air."

should have "grazing the air" on one line.

honestly speaking i dont think theres anything wrong with this and its the first piece of good poetry i have read in a long time. good work!

Thank you very much. You're always a big help - glad to see you're back as well.

Hi There!
You have just earned yourself an O.D.D. feature ! congrats!
Today was the very first literature ODD!! so congratulations!
ODDS (oibyrd's daily deviations) are to honor the sometimes overlooked artists of dA that I personally think deserve some exposure (and ALSO, to show off people who I think are undeniably talented in their own genre of art, REGARDLESS of their #'s of fav's or pageviews. I like what I like and sometimes artwork isn't featured in the regular DDs because it's popular all on it's own It's a shame, but the admins are only trying to be fair! ). Please click the link below to see your work featured and to view other featured artists . If you prefer not to be a featured artist, just send me a note and I will remove you from the list. Cheers! xoxo Stef xoxo
[link]

Beautiful *tries not to cry* You're poem reminded me of my grandma. I miss her .

--
~Kit~

Visit my Gallery! [link]

Need some stock or Textures? Visit my stock account [link]

Thank you, that is a great compliment. I'm sure she's well wherever she is .

Many thanks for this feature -- I'm very glad you enjoyed the poem.

You're welcome. Yes I am very sure she is doing well in Heaven, watching me and smiling...I hope

--
~Kit~

Visit my Gallery! [link]

Need some stock or Textures? Visit my stock account [link]

the only feeble thing i could do for you in an attempt to get you more critique.
do use the poetry forums though, they have a workshop section now for your poetry =]

i definitely will be, once i get some new poems flowing . although i assure you that should be soon with school ending in less than a month.